A feirce video:
At the beginning of the new season of Project Runway I really disliked Christian's attitude, despite how he took my breath away with his Alexander McQueen/Vivienne Westwood inspired designs. I was stuck holding a grudge until recently...he's bratty, arrogant, and aggrivatingly close to my age; however his feirce-ferocious-feirceness is turning me into a closet fan. Work. It. Out. Flambouyant, immaculate hair, snotty and arrogant, designs with lots of ruffles. I think he's clearly the love-child of Santino and Austin, which is fantastic as they're my 2 favorite contestants thus far.
In anycase, he's obviously very talented and frankly I'm going to be surprised if he doesn't take the final, although I'm sure he's going to have some strong competition in Chris (bias!!).
I adore both so I'd really just be happy if either won. :)
Monday, February 18, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Public Service Announcement: Footless Tights Are Not Pants
I'm going to let UGG boots slide, really. Everyone who wears them drags their feet on the ground, so that's a statement in itself. Crocs are a bit more painful to ignore, but it's ok. It's kind of like a violent crack head, you just have to step back and say "Ok man, you're doing this to yourself" and walk away.
I'll let you have the fur-trimmed hoodies and sweatpants too, so you can still dress like some kind trendy Eskimo. You can still wear pajamas everywhere on campus to give off that "Heehee I'm so cute I just rolled out of bed" vibe, forgiving the fact that you have at least an hours worth of makeup application caked to your face. You kids and your rap music are prone to doing these stupid things early on in life.
However, it’s with footless tights that I draw the line. I know I know, you're in college, you want to stick out, experiment. Maybe you think wearing spandex/polyester blends will make you special, give you that extra edge you need to get laid by as many hipsters as possible, but the sad truth is that the only edge it emphasizes are those of panty lines and cellulite. Cindy Lauper would cry. Even if you were born in the 90’s, footless tights are not the filling to the 80’s-shaped-hole in your heart. Stop this self-destructive behavior ASAP, save your dignity. Your anorexic boyfriend won’t miss it, and Hot Topic won't be missing the $4.
What’s the point of a footless tight anyways? To emphasize a normally slender part of the leg by making it look as fat as possible with a horizontal line? As bad as this monstrosity is, it’s only growing. Becoming faster, stronger, more aware of its surroundings. Breeding. Into a more foul version of it’s 80’s self. Not only does it no longer need its skirt counterpart to survive, it’s mutating.
I have seen "footless socks" in a store. Even worse than the "footless thigh highs" which feature the sexiness of a thigh high and legwarmer at the same time, without the an actual sock end; no no no, footless SOCKS are basically those little knit armbands that anime kids wear with cute Mario mushrooms and Invader Zim on them, but for your ankle. Great. Good job you adolescent ass, you just bought an ankle cuff. It has all of the disadvantages of a functional sock (your friends seeing the ugly turquoise kittens poking out from the cuff of your pants) but without the convenience of, well, an ACTUAL SOCK.
Dysfunctional? This is what you will become footless-tight-wearers. Footless tights will wear you down to a ragged, less functionally dressing shell of yourself. They are like a stretchy spandex dragon that you will never catch. It may start with a simple black pair under a miniskirt you normally wouldn’t have the confidence to wear, but when you become hooked and it’s no longer about the skirt, what will you do then?
There is still time to turn this lifestyle around! If quitting cold turkey seems too brash of a decision, you can always take baby steps by cutting your tights into still ugly, but less absurd garments, like biker shorts or granny panties. There are even experimental methods of treatment such as cognitive behavioral therapy, morphine drips, and pants. It's recommended that you talk to your doctor about what might be right for you. Reach out for support to family and friends! There is hope, and it just may start at that little hole in the back that everyone can see your panties through.
I'll let you have the fur-trimmed hoodies and sweatpants too, so you can still dress like some kind trendy Eskimo. You can still wear pajamas everywhere on campus to give off that "Heehee I'm so cute I just rolled out of bed" vibe, forgiving the fact that you have at least an hours worth of makeup application caked to your face. You kids and your rap music are prone to doing these stupid things early on in life.
However, it’s with footless tights that I draw the line. I know I know, you're in college, you want to stick out, experiment. Maybe you think wearing spandex/polyester blends will make you special, give you that extra edge you need to get laid by as many hipsters as possible, but the sad truth is that the only edge it emphasizes are those of panty lines and cellulite. Cindy Lauper would cry. Even if you were born in the 90’s, footless tights are not the filling to the 80’s-shaped-hole in your heart. Stop this self-destructive behavior ASAP, save your dignity. Your anorexic boyfriend won’t miss it, and Hot Topic won't be missing the $4.
What’s the point of a footless tight anyways? To emphasize a normally slender part of the leg by making it look as fat as possible with a horizontal line? As bad as this monstrosity is, it’s only growing. Becoming faster, stronger, more aware of its surroundings. Breeding. Into a more foul version of it’s 80’s self. Not only does it no longer need its skirt counterpart to survive, it’s mutating.
I have seen "footless socks" in a store. Even worse than the "footless thigh highs" which feature the sexiness of a thigh high and legwarmer at the same time, without the an actual sock end; no no no, footless SOCKS are basically those little knit armbands that anime kids wear with cute Mario mushrooms and Invader Zim on them, but for your ankle. Great. Good job you adolescent ass, you just bought an ankle cuff. It has all of the disadvantages of a functional sock (your friends seeing the ugly turquoise kittens poking out from the cuff of your pants) but without the convenience of, well, an ACTUAL SOCK.
Dysfunctional? This is what you will become footless-tight-wearers. Footless tights will wear you down to a ragged, less functionally dressing shell of yourself. They are like a stretchy spandex dragon that you will never catch. It may start with a simple black pair under a miniskirt you normally wouldn’t have the confidence to wear, but when you become hooked and it’s no longer about the skirt, what will you do then?
There is still time to turn this lifestyle around! If quitting cold turkey seems too brash of a decision, you can always take baby steps by cutting your tights into still ugly, but less absurd garments, like biker shorts or granny panties. There are even experimental methods of treatment such as cognitive behavioral therapy, morphine drips, and pants. It's recommended that you talk to your doctor about what might be right for you. Reach out for support to family and friends! There is hope, and it just may start at that little hole in the back that everyone can see your panties through.
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